Pray for Your Friends

Did you notice that? Did you catch it?

I know many of us reach a point in our lives where we feel like and can relate to Job. We have experienced a lot of loss, accompanied by grief and other strong emotions. We pray and pray and pray and pray. Which is the good and right thing to do. God commands us to pray continuously and persistently.

I just caught it in this verse this morning. A principle. It says the Lord restored the fortunes of Job ... when he had prayed FOR HIS FRIENDS!!!

Not for himself, not his problems, but for his FRIENDS! We know that Job was having an ongoing conversation with God through out the book of Job. But here...his fortunes were restored WHEN he prayed for his friends.

Meditate on that. It seems important to me that we are intentional about praying for OTHERS. Don't get caught up in your own situation that you are frantic in your prayers for yourself and your own life and problems. Pray for your friends. Other people you know that are struggling or even doing well. Pray blessings for both. Pray for your children, your spiritual leaders, your bosses, your neighbors, your enemies.

Learn the art and discipline of prayer. If you are weak in prayer and do not have a natural gift for it, develop it. PRAY for OTHERS! Don't stop praying. ♥ ♥ ♥

If You're Running Out of Strength...Remember...

God does not give us the strength for the length of our battle...He gives the length of our battle, to build up our strength.

It's not a prepare-before-you-go situation--it's a become-prepared-AS-you-are-going, type of situation, we live here on earth. If we read the verses about strength in the Bible--it's never our own strength, it's God's and He develops it in us-THROUGH the training.

The manna didn't rain down in advance--only enough for what was *needed* that day, was given. BUT it had to be gathered. We must go out and gather up the strength that God has provided for us, every day...REACH for it, and you will find it.

Don't give up.

It was a feverish, vomiting, couch cover washing, car dying, audition rescheduling, neck aching, grace needing, low key kind of day.

My day was planned. I had a plan. It was a full but good plan. Take oldest to work, earlier than usual, take middle to an audition later in the day, and everything in between. Those two spots were the required tasks, all the rest were every day filler.

Instead, the youngest woke in the middle of the night, fearful and with a high fever. It continued into the day but now accompanied by whining and fatigue.

The middle son woke up still feeling residual fatigue, achiness and an over all not-feeling-good, from the day before. That led to a little debate and then the decision to call in, and unfortunately, opt out of the audition.

Not long after, youngest woke up from a morning nap, started crying again and promptly vomited all over the couch.  I strip the couch covers off. Only one cushion was the lucky recipient but you can't just wash ONE cover, right? Youngest goes in the bath, crying the entire time.

At some point a desperate phone call was made to a friend for spiritual support--I knew we were headed for one of those days. Youngest fell back to sleep. It would not bode well to try and get him dressed and in the car to take oldest to work...yah, it wasn't even noon yet.

Left middles home with youngest and proceeded to take oldest to work. Which required a trip to the gas station first and then swing by the bank. Between the gas station and the bank, my car died. It just stopped. In the street. I restarted it. Detour to Pep Boys to get oil because that is all I really know how to check and do. Oldest had to let his boss know, he would be late coming in early.  Car was a little shaky but drove. This deserves a Starbucks run by now. I had a gift card. Unexpected, extra long line. Swing by the bank and finally headed to oldest's job, late coming in early.

Back home, every one's awake again, watching cartoons.
"Mommy, I cried for you," says my youngest as he starts crying again.
Agent calls and audition has been rescheduled to next week. Yay! More vomiting, of an orange, on the blanket that was covering the bare couch cushions.

More crying. Middle son makes a miraculous recovery after the audition is rescheduled and a shower. The youngest seems best to sleep in nothing but a towel.

The Mr. is not going to be able to take the kids out after all, since there is vomiting involved. They hang out here. Watching a movie sounds good...along with laundry. Oldest calls, his ride misunderstood. I'm back out to get him, later than usual, due to the mix up. Drop him off at his Bible study.  I fall asleep long before he ever gets home.

We make plans. We have plans. Plans are good...usually. I keep thinking of this verse, for my life right now, as hope for other people. God will direct other peoples steps...according to MY plans...which of course, line up with God's plans...I'm sure of it.

Then there is this day. What plans? I trust the day to His plans. Knowing He has a plan. I'm living it. It's now.   Even when it includes vomit and head aches and requires grace. Lots of it. In the midst of laundry, these are His plans. I don't know why. He will and is directing my steps in the way I should go. I can surrender the change of plans, my steps to Him...because I choose to trust.

Honoring the Dishonorable

HOW do we respect & honor those who are not only dishonoring and disrespecting us, but even their own selves? WHAT does that really look like?

The first thought to consider, I ran into at a recent Bible study, started with this verse:
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

Honor releases LIFE. Honor: releasing life by recognizing the glory that is in another.
We can honor a person by speaking LIFE to release it. NOT words of death. 

A recent morning's old testament Bible readings were about the time when Saul was chasing after David. (1 Sam 24:1-25:44) David had opportunity, when Saul was unprepared & vulnerable to KILL him. He chose not to and gave as his reasons, that Saul was appointed by God. He did go onto say, maybe Saul would die in some other way, in battle or something BUT it would NOT be by HIS (David's) hand.

He did not want to be responsible for the death of one who was appointed by God. However, David DID let Saul know that he had opportunity to kill him but did not take it. Saul would then call out to David to come join him but David did not.

**Saul was still dangerous-a danger to David.** David did not intentionally expose himself to this danger. David respected for Saul, not even as a human being or even as King BUT BECAUSE GOD has positioned Saul as King. And David did NOT put himself in harm's way by running back to Saul. 

GOD has APPOINTED certain people and relationships for us. If you believe that...you can release any idea or need for people to behave a certain way in order for you to honor or respect them. 

START with your speaking. How do you refer to people in your life or people you have relationships (especially estranged ones) with? Do you call them a nick-name? Do you make jokes about them? Do you complain about their unbecoming behaviors to others?

We can choose to focus on their good and complimentary traits. We can highlight the positive. We should also be praying blessings for them and thank God for their good traits. If you can not think of any thing good about them or anything to be thankful for, ask God to show or remind you about their positive qualities.

Also, I heard my middle son make a sarcastic remark about someone today. Yes, he's frustrated, hurt and angry. I understand this. However, I confessed and apologized for any way *I* may have done this myself in the past--starting with ME taking ownership here--and proceeded to give the example of how David treated Saul. 

From here on forward, as a family, we will only speak of other people with the utmost respect...or say NOTHING. This does not erase what transpires. It does not lessen the impact or condone bad behavior. We acknowledge the wrongs against us but we won't make derogatory jokes or sarcastic remarks. We will respect the people in our lives, in POSITIONS, APPOINTED by GOD, in our family. If nothing else, our motivation is to honor the position the LORD has appointed various people to. 

This might seem VERY obvious to some of you. I THOUGHT I was being respectful and training my children to be as well (and most often, we probably were). Then we had an incident that helped me realized, at least sometimes, our honor and respect were being influenced by other people's behavior...but it should (or can) be INDEPENDENT of anyone's behavior. 

It took REALLY digging in deep, through prayer, God's Word and meditating on it to come to this place. We do not need to point fingers or place blame.  We must be intentional in speaking LIFE to those we love and care about...making our goal reconciliation--in whatever form that can happen for now-which would be for all of us to be able to have fellowship again.

We control ourselves. One fruit of the Spirit is self control. We can not control others and we should not strive to, but we can always make a choice to control ourselves.

Dear Wounded Child

I want to address every child that has ever been wounded, disappointed or let down by a parent. I want to stand in for your parent that has disappointed you. We are adults, and you were right to expect us to behave like ones. I want to say I am sorry.

I am sorry that we did not protect you. I am sorry for being selfish and putting my own wants and desires first. I am sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry that we did not behave as adults. I'm sorry that we put you in a position of having to grow up too fast, for having to take care of yourself when we should have been the ones to take care of you. I'm sorry for acting immaturely and more like a kid than an adult.

I'm sorry we didn't keep it together for you. I'm sorry that we didn't respect your other parent enough to maintain an intact family for you to grow up in. I'm sorry for the ways and times I didn't listen to you when you had something on your heart to tell me. I'm sorry I didn't show up when I said I would. I'm sorry I forgot you at school. I'm sorry I left you unsupervised and allowed you to face temptations you weren't ready to handle yet. I'm sorry I didn't always follow the standards I told you to follow. I'm sorry we demanded respect while we acted disrespectfully. I'm sorry we separated from your other parent. I'm sorry we divorced and you had to go between two houses and then got mad when you forgot stuff. I'm sorry we never married and I introduced you to a new parent and that caused you to feel confused.

I'm sorry I lied to you about where you came from. I'm sorry I didn't protect you and allowed you to be introduced to topics too young. I'm sorry I yelled when you spilled your drink. I know it was an accident. I'm sorry I was too busy to just give you a hug or tousle your hair. I'm sorry I didn't even notice when you needed a hug or that time you were crying alone in your room. I'm sorry we didn't maintain our authority and position as your parents and let you make decisions you weren't able to take on yet.

I'm sorry for losing my temper, for calling you names. I'm sorry you were left alone. I'm sorry I scared you.  I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I am sorry that we failed you. Big time. There is no excuse. I want you to know though, that it wasn't your fault. It was mine. It was ours. We failed you. We were supposed to protect you and provide for you and we didn't.

It wasn't your fault. Do you hear me? It wasn't. You were a kid. You were meant to behave like a kid and we were supposed to be an example of responsible adult behavior. I want you to know that you don't need to carry around that guilt any more. It wasn't your fault we never married your other parent, or separated or even divorced from them. None of that was ever really about you. It was about us. It was our own selfishness. We are sorry for bringing you into our problems. We should have exhibited more self control. We should have shown more love. We should have taught you how to work out problems instead of running away from them.  You deserved more respect from us. You deserved to be loved and accepted. We are sorry you felt rejected. You deserve to be taken care of as a child. We should have pursued more of a relationship with you. It was selfish of us to expect you to chase after us. It was selfish of us to blame your other parent.

You are worthy to be loved. You need to know that. You are not destined to fail or to repeat our failures. You have your own path to walk. You need to know that God has a greater path ahead for you. A path that is not bound to our mistakes. You can release the anger toward us. We deserve it. We want you to know, though, that it was not meant to be your burden to carry. We are sorry for putting our own burdens on you to carry.

You are destined for greatness, not mediocrity. You are meant to soar and succeed. Your dreams are not stupid. They are amazing. You are amazing. You were not a mistake or an accident. You were meant to be born. There is a great plan and destiny for your life. I want you to be free to follow it, to live it. You are smart. You have talents and gifts that are uniquely yours. Don't be afraid to use them. Don't be afraid to let your light shine. You can go to school and do well. You can get good grades. You can paint or sing or dance or act. You can do research and find answers. You can read great books. You can learn new things. You can get a great job and excel at it. You can enjoy it. You are responsible and you can make good choices.

You will get a second chance. If we ruined your childhood--we want you to know you have a second chance. When you have your own kids. You are free to have fun, to laugh, to play ball, to roll around in the grass with them. You are free to enjoy their childhood and have fun all over again.

You do not need to behave like us. You do not have to be neglectful or selfish. You are free to love your own children. You are free to let them love you. You are free to cuddle and snuggle with them. You are free to tickle them, hug and kiss them. You are free to have family dinners around the table. You are free to listen to them. You are free to laugh at their silly jokes. You can smile when they spill their drink accidentally. You don't have to yell.

You are free to love, honor and respect your spouse too, their parent. You don't have to repeat our bad behaviors. You are free to be faithful and loving. You are free to love. You will be a great parent and a great spouse. You will honor others. You will treat others respectfully. You will keep your word, your commitments, your vows. You will be trustworthy.

We want you to know that you really were a great kid. We hope you will forgive us and choose to be free. We want you to be everything you were destined to be. We want to see you succeed in spite of us. You were born to succeed. Don't give up. Please forgive us and be free.

Parenting Children through Prayer

Prayer is a huge focus in our home. We pray together regularly. We make decisions after praying. What if everyone prays and disagrees?

In our family, I recognize that my children have their own relationship with God. I trust that God speaks to them individually and respect their personal relationship with Christ.

Recently, we have been praying over big decisions that would affect all of us. We disagree over how to proceed or not, through this decision. My children believe they are hearing God say one thing to them and I believe God is telling me something different. They are bold in their faith and trust in God and His speaking to them.

I could play my 'parent card' and make the decision the way I think we should and ignore their input. I could but I chose not to handle it that way. My faith is in God and so I continue to trust Him. The way I have come to know God has changed too. I don't believe He is out to punish me, waiting for me to fail. If He is telling me something, in this case, and I choose to wait, I don't believe I will 'get in trouble'.

With this trust in God, I am able to wait and respect my children's faith in God. I play my 'parent card' by using this as an opportunity to further instruct them on how we should pray. I understand that we all have our own filters that we are hearing God through. We have our own desires and wants, needs and emotional attachments and investments weighing on this decision. With all things considered, I choose to teach my children to wait. Pray and wait.

I instruct them that we will go again to God, in prayer for this month, over this specific decision. We will petition God for clarity. Also, if we believe God is telling us what we think we hear, then we will behave like it. We will declare, in faith, that our prayers are already answered. We will show thanks in advance by being good stewards of what we have. This is how we fight for what we want. We will not be afraid to ask for what we want and we will not be afraid to believe we have already attained it. We will also not be afraid to wait, to not move, until we are sure, that God says move.

I am not trying to train my children to only listen and/or obey me, but to listen and obey God, first and foremost. I have a wide range of ages here too. My oldest is already twenty, my middles will be thirteen and eleven next month. The four year old, well, he just follows along. I teach them according to their age and level of maturity. I strive to respect them not only as individual human beings, but as fellow followers of Christ. 

Ever get that feeling...

like everything is moving, suddenly, but you aren't sure exactly what direction it's all going in...but it feels exciting. You embrace the change, full of anticipation for whatever the future holds.

Then.It.Just.Stops!

You're back to wondering what is going on? It feels like you're in a freeze frame of slow motion except everything around you, maybe, is still moving at a lightning speed? Maybe I'm in Dorothy's house, while the tornado of the world is outside my window, spinning madly around me. Yah. Maybe that is what is happening.

I am not sure where I am going to land. Or, at this point, if I ever will.

Maybe it's because I recently had my birthday. (which was fabulous, by the way) Or maybe not. Maybe it's because birthdays force us to think of our births...and the woman responsible for my birth is not here. The woman I originated from, of whom I am practically a twin of--no longer exists on this earth.

In a few days, it will be Mother's Day. Another reminder of who I thought I was, a mother, but realize, is only one aspect of who I am. Also a reminder of what I am missing. Mother's Day is the most crowded day at the cemetery. I try to avoid going, if possible. I couldn't be a mother if it weren't for my kids. I am blessed to have them. I wouldn't be a mother if it weren't for my husband either. For whatever that is worth--even if only to me.

On the other side of my birth...is the paternity of it all. A sudden surprise, bigger than the party they threw me?...a man I can remember meeting when I was nineteen...or maybe twenty. I know I was already married, though my husband was not there when we met. I don't remember where he was, but I wish he would have been there. I really wish he had been there. Oldest was a newborn.

I met him but I don't remember saying much, if anything. He and my mother spoke to each other, while I stood there awkwardly, silent, like a little girl trapped in my grown body. They spoke of me, of my existence, of my coming into being, into their lives, though I was standing right next to them...once again invisible.

I couldn't really tell you what he looked like. I knew he was fair skinned, like me. Eyes. Where my blue eyes came from? He held my son, for a dance. That was it. I never expected or imagined anything beyond that.

But here we are. Surprise! I'm not the little girl I was when he first met or left me. I am not nineteen or twenty...the age of my mom, when he left her? The age he was when I was born?

I just turned forty. I've had a dad all my life. In my life. I am his daughter.

But he wants to call me his daughter, when we meet...again. Again, my husband isn't here. That's strange isn't it? I wonder why this is, that he isn't here for this. I really wish he was here, this time.

I know what he looks like now. In this cyber-age of technology, I can click on his picture whenever I want. It doesn't tell me much though. Not really. I'm not even sure of what I want to know. Can you really express forty years of a life-time in an email? Is it even worth the effort at this point?

I want to believe it's worth everything. Maybe if we just start now. Working forward and not backward. I do not know. I don't have any great answers. I don't even have great questions anymore.

I think the house I'm in, that was spinning through the air, just landed.
I think, maybe, the journey home, starts now.

Everything IS ok.

Pro 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

GOD has it under control. Do NOT be dismayed by the actions of men. Adam and Eve had a plan to run and hide. Jonah had a plan to run away. Paul had a plan to murder Christians.

BUT God has a plan that is for your good. He had a plan for them too and He accomplished that divine plan. Do not be afraid. Do not be surprised when things and situations appear to be opposite of what you have heard God tell you and show you.

Hold your position...in faith. Do not neglect your armor and your weapons of warfare. You know the truths--you know this battle is not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities. Use your weapons, the spiritual gifts God has given you. He has not given you a spirit of fear. Be strong and courageous. NO weapon that is fashioned against you will stand. He is FOR you, therefore NONE can stand against you. The God of Angel Armies IS on your side.

I know the wounds that run deep. Seek to forgive. Cast it ALL on Christ to take to the cross. As deep as the wounds run, so deeply does the power of the blood HEAL. DO NOT STOP PRAYING.

It's STILL the season of Restoration

Do NOT be discouraged. Crazy stuff (the good kind of crazy) is happening all around. God IS lining it all up, beyond your imagination. HOLD tight to ALL those prophetic words, personal promises, scriptures etc that God has spoken to you. Hold them close to your heart.

I could make a LONG list of 'restoration' events and situations that have happen to me recently and this past year. Each time I am SO amazed. GIVE thanks. BE ready. In season and out. We TRULY have NO idea just HOW freaking CRAZY God is. And the CRAZY Love He has for us.

He KNOWS the desires of your HEART. NOT just what you are praying for--but the deep, true, desires you have...even if you aren't praying them--even when your prayers contradict--even when you have no idea you desire it--HE knows. And that is what He is working to accomplish.

Be OPEN to receive ALL that God has for you. He is UNlimited! Don't limit Him to your own ideas and imaginations of how your life, marriage, family, job etc will be. He WILL do above and beyond what you can possibly imagine. He desires WHOLENESS for you, for your {future} spouse, for your family--ALL your family. 

"Restoration" is for EVERY aspect of your life! He wants it ALL! Surrender to Him. Let go of the fear. He wants the BEST for you.

Be strong & courageous. Do NOT give up. Surrender to the *process*. ♥ ♥ ♥

Happy Saturday!